You Motorboating Son-of-a-Bitch

Motorboat: The placement of one's face, specifically the mouth, into the area between a well-endowed woman's breasts, followed by a rapid shaking of the face in a side-to-side motion accompanied by yelling. The resulting sound that is created sounds similar to an outboard boat motor.

So for labour day weekend, a few friends & I trekked up to Kelowna for a weekend of fun times, wine, wine touring and more fun times. Fun times were indeed had as was the wine. No shock that they tend to go hand in hand.

On our second night out on the town, we hit Rose's pub which has a LOVELY patio right on the lake. Among the multitudes of drunk people was a fellow in the fanciest (and by fancy I mean a value village special) brown suit off set by a baby blue shirt. Jammer actually had pointed him out earlier in the evening so by the time the social butterfly had made his way past our table, Jammer had enough drinks in her to grab him exclaiming "Hey you motorboating son-of-a-bitch" and proceeded to grab with both hands around the back of his neck and pull his head to her cleavage.

I don't know if it was because he was completely stunned or crazy drunk blondes are frightening (probably not.. which by the way is some obvious foreshadowing) but the look in his eyes & his complete resistance to Jammer wasn't as amusing as watching her wrestle with all her might to make him succumb to the boat and like most.... he finally did with a resounding brrrrrrrrrrb.

When we finished he looked at me and asked if I was next.... to which I replied no... Not because I'm opposed to the motorboat as I'm usually the one administering the task but because let's face it my girls are quite the disappointment. Because of the pathetic showing that they've made I'm not above wearing cutlets to enhance the look and well, I could just picture him pushing his face side to side knocking one of my cutlets right into someone's drink.

Fast forward to later in the evening when Suit (I still didn't know his name as the moment never really presented itself. Every time he'd walk past our table, I would just yell out "Suit! suit! to beckon him over as I had more boobs for him... Was feeling pimpish that night) managed to win a way into my heart... he was plying me with alcohol. It was after our second shooter when declares that I like him. To which I had to enquire why he thought that.

He goes onto explain that when I resisted him motorboating me that it showed I liked him & I was putting up a challenge. Not only did I choke on my drink becuase I was laughing, I managed to retort "Oh yea, I'm a big challenge". It was about then when Suze walked by stuck her head between my boobs & motorboated me like no other. Something about that moment seemed not only ironic but mocking..... Yea, dude, I'm in love.