What kind of mullet are you?
Tomorrow night is the 3rd night of 4 of Vancouver's Symphony of Fire Fireworks Competition. Last Wednesday I found myself trekking over to Lady's apartment in Kits for a little rooftop wine & viewing (except I drank beer so I don't know what I'm talking about) but before I entered the cold beer & wine, I spotted a couple where one of which sported a fancy mulltet..... and it wasn't the man.
Aside from the fact that this hairstyle is lauded everywhere, women generally have a stronger finger on the pulse of hair-dos. Kind of baffled me that said hair was sculpted into such a shape. And it's not like this is a woman that has just let her hair grow out but rather it was VERY short all over the head with a sort of extension growing down her neck.
Last time I saw a mullet like that, I was knee deep in rye & perogies at my cousin's Ukranian wedding. Which brings me to one of my more embaressing family moments (and there are many) but this one is special because rather then my own bumbling, my brother is the one that threw the spotlight on me & left me red faced in front of hundreds of people.
Yes, the giant Ukranian wedding where my cousin invited 500 of his closest family & friends (half of which, I'm related to... starting to think I'm related to half of Alberta) & had the reception in the gymnasium of the local highschool in Lamont (half an hour northeast of Edmonton). I sat at a table with my brother, his wife, my other aunts & uncles whom I knew at the front of the gym in front of the head table. Great spot actually as it was in throwing distance to the bar and we got first picked to eat. So by the time the speeches started, we were past dessert & about 3rd drink into the evening (ok 5.. but I can't remember the count at this point in time).
First line of business was for the MC to introduce the head table. He arrived at the best man, the groom's brother, and was quick to point out that the ladies should be forewarned as he was single (laughter enused) and he managed to make that joke about a couple of the bridesmaids as well. Fine everyone had a good laugh. Then he turns his attention to out of town guests. Instead of just sitting there when their name was called, people rose & gave a small wave.
So the MC points out that I'm from Vancouver. There I am standing up in front of a gym full of people and me only knowing a handful when my brother yells at the top of his lungs "she's single too!... any takers??"
I stood there frozen in mid wave like a deer caught in head lights & I swear I heard an "ooh " come out of the crowd.
My brother had to make an early exit as his wife ate some bad chicken & I spent the rest of the night I kept avoiding farmer bill (don't know his name) and his tight white jeans. You know how you get an image in your head what a redneck would look like & then you actually see it? Yea, that was him... mullet madness, plaid shirt & tight white jeans. Kept trying to get in my line of vision. So desperate to avoid him, I kept polka-ing with Bernie (real name), the pharmacist who may or may not have been a cousin. Finally when I emerged from the bathroom, there he was standing across the hall & I got the Leather Tuscadero salute*.
NO IDEA why didn't snap him up.
Like I said, I was spending time with Bernie. Probably would have kept talking to him but you see during the speeches they also explained that the wine glasses were expensive (20/per) and that we should be careful with them. So half way thru the night.. 8 glasses of wine in, I'm telling a story & anyone who knows me, knows I gesture wildly with my hands & can become quite excited about a story. So as I'm speaking of god knows what (I know that most of my stories horrified him), I'm waving my hand around only to slam the wine glass down shattering it.
Ooh.... not good. I placed a napkin over said glass got up to change tables but not before making a trip to the bar (remember, in throwing distance) and grabbing myself a new glass of wine. (Well, I broke the other one). So as I sat speaking to my cousin Terri (who's sister's name is Sherry. Honest to god. That coupled with the fact I attended South Park Elementary makes me think my life is a cartoon), I again get very excited about a story "Bla bla bla..... " SMASH.... uh oh, that's 2. I just put another napkin over that glass & decided to switch to cans of beer.... at least those won't break.
Pretty sure the toaster I bought them didn't cover the cost of dinner, alcohol AND the glasses I broke.... Not looking forward to seeing what they'll do at my wedding.
*Not a Happy Days Fan? Pinky (wore pink, had red hair) was the girlfriend of the Fonze & Leather (wore leather and had a mullet when I come to think of it) was her younger sister.
When she said hello or said goodbye, she would slap her thighs 2x & then give you guns.
