First Annual Kitsilano Crab Race

I hit the Llama Lounge Saturday afternoon for what was the 1st Annual (and probably the last) Kitsilano Crab Race .

First rule of Crab Race: You do not talk about Crab Race (ooops)
Second rule of Crab Race: You do not talk about Crab Race (double oops)

Anyways, we had all hit the markets, and carefully chosen our crabs. Upon arrival, we placed them in the tub, registered your crab and sized up the competition which was fierce. There was #1, there was Lil' JW and the front runner... Syphilis.

I named mine Lucy & said it's competitive edge was it's anger. I was then informed it took after it's owner... to which I say "BAH!" and surprisingly DIDN'T smack Hark (like to change it up.. the meds help but it's nice to keep em on their toes).

When race time approached we lined up our crabs (we ran them in groups of 4) in a pen... Ready! Set! Go! and we released the block & you know what happened?

Nothing. Crabs don't do anything. I really don't know what we were thinking.

Poking them with chopsticks doesn't help either. Capt'n managed to make hers scuttle 2 inches by poking it in the bum so we declared it an instant winner. After a lackluster race & a few Michael Vick comments we relented & decided to just throw em in the pot. I think Lucy was just mad I named him that... Found out you are only allowed to catch male crabs so giving him such an effeminate name angered him & out of protest wouldn't move...

I think next year we are going to try Lobsters but I won't keep you informed as Rule 1 clearly states You don't.........