was THAT mean?

So I received a text from Train wreck late last night (329am to be exact) stating the following:

Are you going to stay mad at me forever??? Would be nice to hear from you to know your still alive anyways going in for surgery tues and off all week call me

Note the mispelling of you're (your). Sorry I'm fickle, but it's one of my biggest pet peeves.

I didn't get the text til this morning as I spent a better part of yesterday sleeping off my 24 hour relay (posts to come) but I when I read it, I couldn't help myself. I had to respond with:

Are you finally having your head removed from your ass?

Apparently, I offended him... it's mean.

I think it's pure Gold.

Offending Women & Gord Everywhere...

I designed our new team logo yesterday & only had one complaint and from the least likely of sources....

UPDATE:

Apparently I was chastised yesterday because it wasn't 'jucier' . So sorry to disappoint you that I did not take him into the back & shag his brains out... not my style........................................ anymore.

I was going to let the whole thing lie but was coaxed into contacting him and in true dumb boy fashion I got a dumb response.... nothing changes.

Am starting to feel better from the weekend. Well, I was feeling fine yesterday. Sunday however, left something to be desired. Saturday, Veternarian was celebrating her 35th birthday & thought it'd be fun for some pre drinks at her place then head out to Roosters for a good ole' Ho Down!

In theory this is great... In practice it's bad.... all bad.

Pre drinks were chocolate martinis which unfortunately do taste like chocolate & go down as such. The to-go cups were probably not neccessary. Nor was the über long drive out to Roosters (courtesy of her friend). When faced with an hour-hour & a half line up we decided to high tail it back to Coquitlam & go to Boone County (may as well keep the country theme of the evening). Which was fine as there was still more to-go cups! So I was in fine form to do more shooters once I showed at Boone. Luckily for me I got to see..... The Apologizer in all of his agonizingly earnest air. (I think I REALLY don't like him). Not only was he there but an old friend from back in the day (yey!) and.................. someone who I really don't know how to describe. I'll name him Leiutenant Crazy.**

**SIDE BAR: Leiutenant Crazy is a security guard for Brinks Armored Trucks and dated a friend of mine several years ago. He was so in love with her that could NOT accept her dumping him. I doubt that she ever really liked him but rather was an "ok, fine... I'll date you if you'd just shut up"

Cut to a couple of years later at a mutual friend's wedding, Girl in question's husband had left for the night. Leiu decided that this could be his chance. Ran back to his room to change from his suit into denim shorts & a wife beater & come back to show off his what I could only imagine is where muscles would be. This then stirred quite the scene which resulted in him punching out his best friend and having to be held down & kicked out of the wedding. Leiutenant Crazy, thank you for being ................ you.


SO you can imagine the horror I had when I received an email from him when he got home saying "thx for the lap dance"....... Yes, Yes I did that. I somehow managed to do a half assed clamored dancing thing sort of on him. My only consolation in this is that I threw up shortly afterwards. Apparently, my body rejects Leiu. It's a relief really.

Yes, the Vet & I had to go home becuase we were both ill from our festivities. Worried that I was all time a-hole. (Love the fact I never really have met her friends before and I get sick), I talk to her the next day to find out her friend thinks we're hilarious & recounted the many things we did once we arrived home & well, yes it sounds quite funny. I'd tell you about it but seeing as I can not recall any part once we left the bar, it would be half assed.

All I can say is that I will never drink a martini who's recipe we find on the backside of a candle again!

I'm My Own Romantic Comedy...

So Friday saw me in my sweats working away at my website (coming soon!) and getting ridiculous phone calls from Tito & Bell. Turns out they are having drinks on her patio and they insisted that I join them. Believe it or not, I was reluctant as once I enter work mode, I tend to not want to veer to far from the right so after some persuading (more like, "just the f up & get changed & come here), I saw myself swigging back the martinis with them.

We had decided that we were hungry and headed to Cactus Club. I had promised some friends that I would be stopping by their place as well so when the lot of them went on to Opus, I jumped in a cab and headed kitside. The girls were having a 'who needs boys when you have toys' party and I got there at the end but not before listening to a very informing CD...... (seriously, who would buy an instructional back door CD?) but I had arrived there at the end (no pun intended) The girls were packing it in for the night so after a glass of wine, I saw myself heading BACK downtown and outside Ceili's.

Fathead was no where to be found & I was not about to wait in line. Right about here, Tito came stumbling out. I thought Bell had sent him along but it turns out he had lost her. So the two of us decided that the moose would be a more fitting place to have a drink.

I love that my night had slowly deteriorated into that. That just a couple of hours earlier, I was sipping a martini at Opus (before I headed to kits) and now I'm in the Moose. Albeit, fun but more grungy then other places but I wasn't complaining... I can get my full gong show on there... but didn't.

No, I was in the back corner fumbling with my black berry (thing is so old & big that it's hard to handle w/ one hand), that it pops out of my hand and lands in the midst of a group. I scramble through the legs to grab it & manage to stand up right in front of a some what cute guy who doesn't hesitate to ask if had been at the moose to watch a playoff game and points to the table to which I sat.

Now, I pause, I had to recall what he was talking about as it was 2 months prior to when I did that but YES, yes, I had been sitting in that very seat watching the game with Stine & Cap'n Jess. We were actually having a meeting about the Auction that night and I recall the guy as well. He happened to be sitting underneath the TV that I was watching & it was impossible to not make eyes with him every time I looked away or changed focus.

I pointed out that I do remember him & recall that he had invited about 18 girls to sit at their table. He smiled & explains that he is a tour guide. HOW that factors in, I don't know but I let it slide... dude remembers me smiling at him from 2 months prior... OBVIOUSLY has good taste, I can't argue.... let the flirting begin. I hadn't talked to him that night of the hockey game but he had my attention now.

So he was trying to me somewhat smooth & asks if he has to wait another 2 months before he sees me again & tries to find me a card to which he had none.... So I mention that it may look like it'll be October before I see him again (when hockey season starts for all you non-watchers). Frantic at the thought (k, so I'm playing up that part... but it's my story.. ) he figures out another way to give me contact info..... he runs off & comes back with a make shift card that he fashioned out of a receipt. I asked if he would take me on a tour of Vancouver... he said he would if I called and left. (why, can't I be this flirty when I'm sober? No, in real life I stare at my umbrella)

I haven't phoned or emailed... I don't know why but I think it's because I really have nothing to say..... I had my own cards on me that night and could have just passed him one but it was way more fun to watch him scramble around but now I have to contact him. Meh, I'm sure after a couple of martinis something will inspire me... but no chocolate ones!...

Saturday night saw me take the toll of the chocolate martini & am unsure if I can go down that road again. Damn you Paula & your delicious recipe. Note to self: never trust an drink recipe that comes on a candle.

Why I Hate Facebook...

I've never had to write "Not Married. No Kids" as many times as I have in the past 2 weeks. It's starting to become humiliating really. Not that there is anything wrong with my life but I really am starting to relate to Bridget Jones more and more with each email I compose. Next thing you know, I'll be sitting alone drunk in my apartment lip syncing to bad love ballads... WAIT! that was LAST night.... Yea, I got nothing. Here's to a good guilt free summer. Let's face it, can't houseboat the same way when your boob is leaking milk.. just ain't right. (offside but meh, my blog).

to clarify...

I haven't been employed for over 2 years... In both the Advertising Agency & the Marketing Agency which I worked in, I was never employed as an employee but rather have just worked as an in house contract and have been paid as a vendor.

Recent events have just taken me out of the office and put me BACK at home where I was working just a year ago. This is something I actually wanted... well, I didn't want it in THIS apartment as the box is getting smaller each day I swear. However, I'm back to my own hours & schedule which I love and although there will be long hours ahead of me, I've managed to cut back on the 14 hour days (which will follow soon, I'm sure. Ok, who am I kidding. They're here again... but the crying has minimized).

What is different I've noticed is that I'm actually busy working. I haven't been writing because I haven't had the time believe it or not. Also, the past week of self loathing has finally subsided & am feeling outgoing again.

Anyhoo... summer is encroaching on us & I can feel the patio bevies on my lips as I write this.... let's hope it's going to be a good one. I had a dream last night that it was the end of August & I couldn't recall the summer. I was most unhappy about the fact that I didn't get to wear all of my fun summer clothes. Then I made out with Daniel Craig. HEY! I don't question it.. I just dream it.... Speaking of which, I'm going for a nap...

The half degree of Seperation in Vancouver...

So it's the weekend and I'm begrudgingly accepting that fact as the past week has been one of self loathing.... why you ask?Mostly because I went to a Bobblehead Fundraiser & acted like I've never been out before.

to sum up: drink drink.. get ready.. drink drink... go to party.. drink. Work door. Get crabby....

Need to lose crabbiness so I pull out the limbo stick... OHHHHH yea.. the limbo stick. I'm starting to see this contraption as being my fall from grace. As not only does it increase my drunkeness 10 fold but I seem to act in ways that are unbecoming of anyone i know... mostly me.

Exhibit A:

Not to be out done... I give you Exhibit B: (with the aid of Stine's art direction)


Words escape me except I can safely say these are NOT the worst ones out there! No, those are safely with me & have been un-tagged in facebook.... Unfortumately for me, as the week wore on, i found out more & more details from that night... It's not that I have forgotten any of the details from that evening it is just that I don't recall them right away on my own.

For example, my friend Gord re-informed me that He has a video of me dancing.. Yes. Yes, you do.. i remember now. He told me to dance like no one is watching & then I did.

I was also informed that I managed to slam my purse down for emphasis on a point but all the while that I kept bitching out my poor victim, I picked it daintily up & continued on my way. Five bucks says I put lip gloss on too.

I was remiss to find out the one person I made an ass of myself too, bitched out & completley aliented will not disappear off the face of the earth as I first hoped.. NO! he gets to be the life long friend of Special K's fiancé. THIS is not good. In fact, THIS is the opposite of good. THIS is bad.

Yes, the fiancé and Dutch friend grew up in Calgary & both live here now with Dutch friend being the latest transplant only have moved here in November. Am so looking forward to THAT wedding now and it ain't just for the seafoam green dress that she promised I get to wear.

Jennifer #501 (i know that many), was trying to run interference on me all night but my classic answer was "I know what I'm doing... "

right. You do, if your goal was to have someone tell you that they despise you.

Never been told that before & I can safely say that is a strong word & that hasn't sat well with me all week.. Despise... just say that out loud.... Despise.. wow.. harsh.


So my week of wallowing is up and I'm faced with another weekend of general shenanigans & tom foolery course I won't use those words as I'm not THAT big of a geek.. but I'll see you on the flip side.. maybe something good will come from this weekend and I can put that smile back on my face... ``

Why I like working at home #5 Ithe part where I'm going squirrly is over ruling the part that i like at the moment so thre are only 5)

I just moved my computer out to my patio and am tanning while I pick away at my work...

course this whole thing would be best at the beach but what are you gonna do?

i just gotta figure out a place for my mouse.