Contemplating A Career Change...

After long discussions with Shaloa today it was decided the best thing to tell people when they ask what I do is that I'm the author of my own Downfall... which pretty much does sum up this confusing series of drunk ancedotes.

I thought that was pretty good and was almost up there with being a ninja but true ninja's aren't allowed to tell people they are ninja's so I guess I'm just stuck dazzling them with my ultimate numchuk skills and my pogo stick maneuvering.

If you yourself are wondering if you too could be a ninja here are some basic ninja skills:



Blinding Powder
To make blinding powder tap a whole in the top of an egg and a whole in the bottom of an egg. Then blow out the egg yolkes and egg whites. Fill the egg with lots of peeper and possibly other powder such as baking soda. When someone is trying to catch you and you need to make a gettaway just throw the egg into their face. The pepper will get in their eyes and make it harder to see.

Warning: this might hurt someone's eyes so use caution.


Silent Entry
Okay so your a ninja and you need to break into some secret laboratory tos top teh evil genuis, or maybe a baby is stuck in a car. Either way a good ninja knows how to gain silent entry.

Method 1
Cover the entire window in duct tape. Then break the window. The duct tape prevents the window from making noise when it is broken, and also helps keep the shattered glass from getting all over.

Method 2
Follow someone else who is going into the same place and sneak in after they do. (this method is a little cliche and is also risky.

Method 3
Pick the lock. For tips visit:http://home.howstuffworks.com/lock-picking.htm

(this would have come in real handy last weekend... SEE.. not a ninja that combined with my lack of depth perception is holding me back from my true calling)

Method 4
This is by far the most-useless method. Just remove a section of the roof and jump into the building. Or you can mix method 4 with method 1 and duct-tape a skylite and jump into the house.



Why would one want to be a ninja you ask? Well, just explore these following career paths:

Here are some ninja careers.
Here are some careers you can do to use your ninja skills.


Thief
Let's face it Ninja skills are perfect for being a thief. But remember being a thief is illegal. So you shouldnt' do it. Thieving is a bad thing, it's immoral, and it gets you sent to jail.


Police Officer
Your ninja skils would help you become a great police oficer. I mean with all of your secret ninja training combined with police training you could be one of the most powerful, not to mention helpful, ninjas ever.


Private Investigator or Detective
Ninja training would give you all the sneakiness you would need to be a truly great private investigator or a great detective.