A Buddhist & a Catholic Walk Into a Strip Bar....

Have you ever spotted a tiny speck on the wall and can't decide if it is a mark or a bug so you continually stare at it waiting for it to move? Because you've stared at it for five minutes your eyes start playing tricks on you and you are convinced that Yes! it has moved.... when in fact no. No it hasn't... that's just dirt.

Welcome to my morning. Except I did that for probably half an hour. You wouldn't want to get out of bed either if you were trying to design a logo for a country station in LA that isn't allowed to look Country. No, in fact this is the one time, I'm given no real direction because country stations don't want to appear country so anything else in the world is acceptable. I was actually told the logo is to appear 'Orange County' which means nothing on me so I asked for clarification. I'm told Orange County is the Surrey of LA... awesome. I'll stick a mullet on the call letters & call it a day.

(If I've offended anyone out there... good. Means you're still reading)

I also think I'm still tired. Even though I was able to get into my apartment at a resounding 3:30 on Saturday, I wasn't able to sleep. I was way to wired up. The coffee I consumed didn't help either. No instead I laid on the couch in a fitful attempt to nap and watch Marie Antoinette.

I like Sophia Coppula but this movie, to me, didn't go anywhere. She filmed it like we all knew about Marie Antoinette but really how much do you know? I kept waiting for some massive climax but it ended with Marie leaving Versailles and that's that. (I paid money for this... I want to see heads roll... literally)

Anyways, I got off the couch & went to Yaletown Brew Pub to meet up with Stine, Shaloa & C-Hatch who was the one that called the meeting of the minds. After a couple of beers it was decided we just get a movie, some junk food & head over to K&D's (that's right crazy drunk Lawyer... I was there. BTW, WHAT is w/ the taxidermied cat on your mantle????). Aside from the quick stop at a pub, the whole thing felt very high school. A bunch of revved up chicks going to a friends house to watch a movie. It also helped that a passing jeep honked at us... nice to know we still have something if not it.

Once I snuggled up next to Stine, I was done. I didn't make it through "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" which is too bad because I was really enjoying the movie. (Robert Downey Jr & Val Kilmer were awesome... ) My falling asleep isn't a slag on any account but rather in my inability to be a machine. I told the girls I'd punch through but all it did was flail I suppose. Was probably for the best as I had kickboxing Sunday morning. It was during my class where I received a text from my Dutch friend asking me to go to the stripathon.

I was informed I passively mentioned it on this forum and seeing it is for a good cause, would I be interested in attending. They had helped out with their PR so they HAD to make an appearance in the very least and didn't quite want to do it alone. I figured it was better then Sunday night television so I agreed. However, when I received a text from Brutal saying her & 5D were down at Brown's watching the PPV game (the very same one I could have gone to with Train Wreck), I burst down there.

Now I was in a conundrum. Hockey or Naked Ladies..... what do you do? Both come with beer. Both are highly entertaining. So there was a compromise. Dutch friend met me at Browns & then we went to the stripathon AFTER the game. Ok, so it was 3rd period but damn those Nucks & their shootout wins... although, I'll take it tonight when I see it live with Brutal. Wahwahweewah... (little shout out to the DVD release of Borat).

ANYWAYS.... This is also why I was intoxicated. I had a couple of drinks before I left for the charity event only to be doubled up upon arrival. I was told I didn't HAVE to drink... yea I did. (that's for you Shaloa)

I was the one that insisted we sit front row. Which I was informed earned me big points... Ok, I don't get the same thrill out of 'exotic' dancers as guys would. I'll look at them and critique their hair. I know that they're naked so what's on top of their head is probably moot but that's where I'm looking. This time however, I wonder how many points I'd earn if I exclaimed, "Oh! I can do that" (what can I say, I could... ha ha!)

The last dancer had an Austin Powers shtick which was both weird & fun at the same time as she lip sync'd along to sayings that were interspersed throughout the song. I was told she seemed to like me. (I'm sitting front row... she wants $$. Of course, she likes me). However, I had to kind of agree with my friend because at the end of the show, she threw out laminated key chains of herself. How'd she know that was the one thing I was needing that day???