It's all Crap...

I was just reading Brutal's Post today and she touched on a subject called "Pump & Dump" where you meet someone, date briefly, dump them & repeat in search for the perfect mate. She comments that when our parents married, they married young & stayed together. Well, I don't know about that seeing as I've seen lots of long lasting marriages start to unfold around the 35 year mark for various reasons... some of which included being in love with a high school boyfriend.

I think dating is all crap. Relationships are all crap. None of it makes sense and we drive ourselves mad trying to figure out what's best for us. I've been doing it lately myself. I recently re-evaluated a sitution & decided that the best course of action was to cut the purse strings. No more contact, no more temptation no more emotional involvement and....... yea. I'm doing swell.

I love how what's best for you makes you feel like poo and all the things that bring you elation are tagged as wrong (I suppose it's a good thing I gave up drinking... no wait! I'm doing THAT tonight.... I meant swallowing). I know I'm speaking in circles as I don't want to give out any details but essentially I saw something for what it really was and decided to do what's best for me for the long run. If what was best for me was the occasional long distance shag then swell but I already have 3 of those from varying places (hey, what can I say, I'm global) and they don't add emotional baggage into the mix unlike said situation. However, apparently what's best for me is dragging myself through the mud & crying my eyes out til snot forms bubbles in my nose & I'm so revolting no one wants me.

ANYWAYS..... I wonder if any of this is relationship Karma. I did wrong to one & I'm paying it back three fold .. except the person I'm thinking about is a total dick so it couldn't be possible. I'm talking about Toys'n'Wheels (TNW) For those that knew me 13 years ago you should get that reference as that's where Mr. Career worked. I guess I can cut him some slack. I mean, I was 18 and he was what? 22 and we all worked in the mall back then. Except he never really had further aspirations from that....

From what I remember when we were together, he didn't have a car as he didn't have a driver's license. He was going to Langara College (and for those in the states, College up here is always considered a Jr College type thing. You only get degrees from Universities) but dropped out.
I know this becuase I freakin' drove him everywhere. To school, to work, to his buddie's etc... so awesome. Yea, I was a bit of a doormat. Well, we spent every single day together so I didn't think about it much but I do recall the time that I wouldn't return his movie for him so he wouldn't talk to me for 2 days as he had to walk ALL THE WAY THERE.... oh no!

Unfortunately, for anyone who's dated me after him, I gave all my good to that guy and every guy after him has basically been paying for his mistakes. Ok, not EVERY guy as that's a bit long to be bitter, but definately the next 3 (By the way, Sow.. sorry about all that. You're an exception to many rules.)

I think this was the beginning of my love of social retards.

***more to come***