completely random.

I had no idea what I was going to write about today as I glazed over my camping weekend & birthday with a quick antedote and some musings about eye cream, which I have yet to use. It's turned into a nightly stare off between me & the bottle.

I'll be sitting on the edge of the tub. The bottle is sitting on the counter of the bathroom (I haven't touched it since opening it as a present... again.. THANKS Lisa... note the dripping sarcasm)

Anyways, I look at it.... It looks at me. We look at each other.
It says "You need me... Use me.... You're not 21 anymore... "

I come back with "F**k that.. A-hole... I was id'd (ok, I don't swear so much but I've been listening to Eddie Murphy RAW and well, it really does influence your vocabulary).

Side bar: if the bottle of eye cream is really talking to you, you better check what was in the cookies.

I really can't admit to myself that I may have acquired some maturity in my life as though it's a bad thing. I refuse to put the eye cream away as though it's an admission I may use it later on.

Between that & having to check the second age bracket box on questionaires, this has been a crappy week. Ok, so losing the $300 didn't help but at least I have hope that I'll get that money back. My youth & good looks are gone forever.

On yet another tangent, more along the lines of the Eddie Murphy influence... I like to rent the Soprano's one season at a time which can really get you in a kinda aggressive mood after a while.. I know after watching a few hours, I always feel really tough when I go to starbucks but am brought back down to earth when I squeal if I see a spider so ya, I don't know how I'll ever be my child's hero if I need them to kill bugs for me.

I also never thought I'd utter the sentence "Sorry I threw your underwear on the fire... but you asked me to" but hey... I guess last weekend was a first time for everything as I also tried fishing for the first time. This also reminds me of the Sopranos because in one episode Paulie made a comment about eating fish on Fridays because if you're Catholic you'd do that but it's Thursday so I'm ok.

Starting to think Swingers is the Dating Bible.

There has never been a more truer moment from that movie for me as yesterday.....

It is uncanny... not even the moment but the EXACT moment you have gotten over someone or they have left your mind, they contact you and not to say hi but "let's discuss what happened".. "let's work things out"... "let's try again"... "Can I buy you dinner" ... "At least let me buy you a birthday drink"... hold on... pause...... pause..................... pause...... ya, WTF?????? The jury is still out.

So I'm 31. Not 30 but 31.. Ya, great.. now I'm IN my 30's. At least no one believes me when I tell them and I'm proud to say was ID'd on the weekend! No idea why I look young. I drink too much, eat bad food, suntan to no end, don't sleep, stress out & party like I'm 21.... nevermind that when I was 21 did all that and then some.... However, I will admit my one downfall is that yes, I have gray hair. Have had it since I was 21.... Thank God I've coloured my hair so many times that I have no idea what the natural tone is anymore.

So what does being in my 30's mean? That I have to start being "responsible" That I gotta be accountable for my actions? So what? I got to start planning for my retirement? May be invest in some real estate? or even better..... Start up a beauty regime?... What the hell is that exactly?

Here I always thought a regime was a "mode or system of rule or government or the period during which a particular government or ruling system is in power"... instead this is something I have to put nightly on my face?

Ok, WHAT is eye cream? What's in it that makes it only specific to that part of your face & how do you even use this? Do I put it in the corner of my eyes? Do I glop it on & leave it over night? Is it edible? (What if I suddenly run out of food & the elevator is broken & I can't get downstairs.. I need to know these things). OH but THANK GOD Prudham's there to buy me a bottle of it for my birthday! Ya, uh-huh... we'll just wait til next year missy. We'll see what you get then!

Other then having 300 stolen from me on my birthday (K, so now every special occasion has been violated. Robbed on Christmas Eve, My mother passed at Easter & robbed again on my birthday. This didn't all happen in one year but I'd say I'm on a great roll) but yes, it was a good birthday & is still going .....

Yes, I had 300 dollars stolen from me because I'm a, and let me get this right... A f**king idiot. I went to the bank machine to take out 20 to go to a Tarot Card reader (I figured it would mean something seeing it was my bday) and I left my bank card in the machine. I want to take this opportunity to state that I am smartish... I did Math competitions when I was in highschool that once upon a time there was promise for me! which is moot as the bank is currently investigating as they have cameras at the machines.

The 2 previous nights of the weekend, I had gone camping with Furniture Man, his family & friends at a place called Banana Island, a little remote island in the river between Kamloops & the Shuswap and had a GREAT time.

Don't quite know how to sum up the experience... may be this one antedote will help:

Sunday morning we're sitting around the campfire, and his brother Bart declares
"I think Someone is going to throw up"
Someone pipes in... "you?"
Bart "yes".

*PAUSE*

You can see the contemplation going across his face. Now anyone else would get up and walk away to go be ill. Not 2 seconds after Marie, who was sitting next to him, asks in a worried tone "Here?" He projectile vomited all over the fire to decree "Ya, that was the pickles.....THAT was the pickles". Guess that explains why it was mint green.... Happy Birthday.

And I thought I Had Problems....

I would love to divulge about my weekend et all. Unfortunately, right now, I'm about as sharp as a rubber ball. I'll try to update later.

Hard to say...

I like Travelling and wanted to hit South America on my next big voyage but based on recent events, I'm thinking I'd hate Brazil.

If we only all had fuzzy puppy bobblheads....

So apparently, the topic of bad gifts has plagued us all:


Leanne:
k... so I'm not being spoiled? mint green sweatshirts are bad yes?

HBB:
Yes... but I'd wear it... lol.. as a joke

Leanne:
Well, you know what? it ended up being REALLY comfy... I just never wore it OUT

HBB:
lol

Leanne:
really soft on the inside

HBB:
ha ha ha

HBB:
Dave's mom gave him a first aid kit last year for his birthday... and he says "mom, you already gave me one a few years ago for my car.. so I have one" and she's like "oh, really... ok... well, Happy Birthday Elaine!"

Leanne:
LMAO

HBB:
that was pretty bad

Leanne:
I just got the same birthday card from my dad for the 3rd year in a row.

HBB:
ha ha ha

Leanne:
Although, the first aid thing is pretty awesome... I'm picturing it now, His mom just shrugging her shoulders & then looking at you... cuz those first aid kits aren't cheap either....

HBB:
my dad used to go into his lost and found at work and give me gifts out of the lost & found ... he'd bring home an ugly-ass photo with a whale on it and hand it to me and say "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

Leanne:
OMG! lmao.... HS... I'm crying

HBB:
lol

HBB
I appreciated the idea, but not the gift.. so I kept the fucking picture for years before I decided it was gay & threw it out.

Leanne:
THAT is awesome... where did he work?

HBB
Vancouver Public Library

Leanne:
K... yes, ppl used to give me these trinkety things and b/c they were gifts, I had them out & ppl would see them so they kept buying me this junk.. i finally threw it all away

Leanne:
"I know you like this"... NO I DON'T WANT A CERAMIC PUPPY!!!!

HBB:
he brought home a used pencil case for my sister and did the same thing.. and even brought us this creepy furry dog with a bobblhead.

Leanne:
HS

HBB:
lol I know right?

HBB
or my mom would give me one of her old used purses and be like "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

Leanne:
that's funny... i'm crying

Happy Birthday Bohner, Pickle and Simba:
yeah.. you can see why I am the way I am now.. lol

Happy Birthday Bohner, Pickle and Simba :
Dave's sister got an "NSYNC greatest hits" CD last year for her birthday.. she opened it and looked absolutely disgusted. She looked up at her dad her an explanation... and he shrugged and said "I thought you like them".. and she's like "NO! EW! What gave u such an idea"

Happy Birthday Bohner, Pickle and Simba:
Apparently, he had mistaken her liking of NKOTB back in the old days for NSYNC

Happy Birthday Bohner, Pickle and Simba:
She's now 30 something and this is what he gets her.. HAHA

Happy Birthday Bohner, Pickle and Simba:
Oh.. and I almost forgot.. Dave got "The Pacifier" DVD from his dad last christmas.. (with Vin Diesel).. and he just shook his head and was like WTF?

How Do You Like it Now????

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I grew up in Tsawwassen and no, I didn't work at the Ferries. However, I did work at the Waterslides & I don't think I'll ever take my children to them. I'll save why for another slanderous post as I'm not in the mood to get sued today.

However, because I grew up so far away from the rest of my entire family (Alberta) my parents didn't have the luxury of leaving the children w/ grandma when they wanted to go on a vacation of sorts. No, we hired help! In order, we had Mrs. Laird, Mrs. Hairy-mole, Mrs. Plintz and then a plethora of family friends' daughters stay with me when I got a bit older & were more there to ensure I didn't burn the house down.

Mrs. Laird was lovely. I liked her. Mrs. Plintz was actually our German cleaning lady & I had known her my entire life. She was a large buxom, sometimes weird, German Lady but was familiar. Of course I liked the family friends as they were not too terribly much older then me and it was "cool" to not have a guardian around. Corrine was a bit mothering but she's a bit of a beanpole stick in the mud. Nancy was awesome. Really easy to talk to, easy going & I could come and go as needed. Mark, my older brother, did visit the house one time & got into it w/ me about not bringing the garbage cans back in... and she backed me up. (Brothers!!!!!) I loved Anne! Anne was cool. She was an actress and had just come back from spending time in LA. She was dating Chip from that Chip n Pepper clothing line. Ya, those ugly van style shoes we wore? Apparently if you picture the nelson twins, you got these guys (think tall, tanned, long blonde haired surfers) Anyways, she would tell me about the parties she was at with the likes of Guns n Roses, who she met the last week and the crazy stunts her & her boyfriend did. I thought it was awesome as I was only 16/17 and to once again..... lived in Tsawwassen. She not only let me throw parties but was a great wing woman.

Which leaves only one person in the mix I never cared for: Mrs. Hairy-mole. I can't remember her name for the life of me as I had a substitute teacher at the same time named Mrs. Frederickson & you'd swear they were sisters.

I'm guessing I was about 8 as we had Mumford back then (Wired Haired Fox Terrier). He was a little hyper as that breed was but he was still in his puppy years so just up the excitement about 10 fold.

At 8, I still embraced most people as children do. I was excited that I had this new person staying my house. So the first morning, my parents were away, I burst into her bedroom to greet her day with the dog in tow. Mumford automatically jumps onto the bed & begins licking her face and I'm squealing with excitement (I too was still in my puppy years... k, I still squeal but I'll be damned if you hear me do that first thing in the morning). This was the wrong thing to do.

Not only did I piss IT off but I had to hear over & over on the phone that day "ohhhh! and the dog attacked me!" It was all over me barking... So terrible" bla bla bla ...

The next morning at the crack of dawn, my door bursts open, lights flash on & my comforter is ripped away from me. My eyes whip open & there is Mrs. Hairy-mole standing over my bed screaming "How do you like it now???"

Ya, awesome, you just schooled an 8 year old. The only pleasant site of that morning was Mumford wagging his tail.

Needless to say those were the longest 2 weeks of my life to only be eclipsed by another nannying stint she did a year later while my parents travelled Asia.

Fine... if this is the worst that happened to me, then it's not so bad. So I don't trust strangers & hate the smell of moth balls but who doesn't? These memories had been in the depths of my brain for a long time to only come out not too long ago.

I went to my cousins wedding in Calgary 2 September Long weekends ago on the Gillespie side so my Father was also there. After many glasses of wine, the story of Mrs. Hairy-mole comes out.

Did I mention I wasn't coddled? ya, not so much. The hugging thing my dad is doing now is new & weird (I got the squeeze release at Christmas) ... his only concern about Mrs Hairy-mole was & I quote: "Well, you deserved it then if you were too stupid to not tell us".

Right..... it's my fault. I forgot.

THEIR

I totally forgot about that word...

But what about birthdays....

I believe this is the third year in a row that I've received the same birthday card from my dad.....

Worst Christmas Gifts... EVER!

I will be the first to admit that I had it pretty good. I mean I grew up in Tsawwassen. I was the youngest. The only girl.. ya, I was spoiled... to a certain extent. I mean my mother did sew all my clothes til I was 12. I had to do work around the house to earn my allowance and it was a given I had to keep my room & bathroom clean. Things I consider to be pretty average run of the mill stuff.... BUT then there was Christmas.

What a gluttoneous feast that was. I pretty much always got what I wanted and more. (My parents managed to surprise me every christmas with some huge gift. Mostly because they got something cool for my older brother & felt that they should match it as I asked for things like a cabbage patch kid while he asked for a TV.. Hey man, that's the same to a 9 year old girl! which I did get, thank-you) and of course being the impatient imp that I was (k... am) I would sneak out to the living room & open my stocking before everyone got up, re-wrap it & go to bed.

I got so good at guessing my gifts that my mother resorted to coding all the gifts. So she'd have to come down Xmas morning with a list stating who got what. I am formally known as 311AB.

But it's since I've become an adult that the level of gift giving has gone DOWN HILL and not just by my Dad but my brother too.

For example one year I recieved a Kling On Dictionary in my stocking.......................... I couldn't even sell that at my yard sale. My mom always thought it was better to give us things we "need" as opposed to gifts so when I was 18 my stocking was full of toothepaste. Hey Mom, I Live at home! My dad has since given up trying to shop for us claiming he "just doesn't know".

I may have been the final nail in the coffin when I scoffed at the sweatshirt he bought me. I know what you're thinking "What's wrong with that?" And oh, nothing if it wasn't mint green. According to him I didn't specify a colour. A: I didn't know they made mint green sweatshirts and B: Isn't it obvious I'd like something in a gray perhaps?

So now he just gives us money.. which doesn't provide hours of entertainment opening but if you inch your way across the envelope every 15 minutes you can successfully drag out that formality...

Then there's my brother & his family. The gifts vary depending on whether or not I spend the Christmas with him Edmonton as the challenge of mailing the parcel isn't there and I have to say, the value shoots right up when I'm in person.

Because this year as I stayed in Vancouver, I got socks. Lots & lots of socks and not just sport specific ones... No, I got "Cat Walk Queen" and some orange number. People make fun of my feet all the time when they see them.. now you know why... they're bought for me. (FINE I'm the one that bought the toe socks but I kid you not, my tootsies are warm in the winter!)

My favourite is one that came from his children. I definately know their his & I definately know they're Gillespies. We're not a coddling bunch of people nor are we ones that hold back the quips (which will be an entry at a later date... why I'm the way I am: part 2). My sister-in-law thought it'd be funny to make me a "Bad Day @ Work Box" full of things that help you get thru that bad day (which was actually cool as it was a small care pkg of sorts) But it's the children that pipe in:

Robyn "Does she even have a job!?"
Scott "Ya, may be we should make it her LAST day at work box!"
and then the laughter ensued...
Ya, awesome, my 7 & 5 year old neice & nephew are throwing the 'tude around.... Yes, they're my family.

Oh Universe! What say the path you have chosen for me!???

Don't you ever find that life is full of innocent coincidences? You know the type, you think of one person & you go out for a coffee & you run into them on the street? Or perhaps you haven't heard from a friend in a really long time & all of the sudden the phone rings? Yes... those ones.

Well, my life is chalk full of them. Why just on Saturday night I dragged my sorry ass down to the Kingston Pub on Richards & Robson. Nice place. Great Patio. Horrible drinking games.

Yes, when left up to our own devices we (we... meaning them.. I was late) devised a game entitled: Teddy's Choice. Every table in the pub has a rolodex of drinks they offer. Bellini's, Mojito's what have you... Well, take them out of the rolodex, put them face down & force each other to pick a drink will make for an interesting evening... but don't be like me & decline what was offered because that only infuriates the dealer & you now must drink what is decided for you... what did I get? ya, awesome a Killer Zombie. It basically is what it sounds like... You could actually smell the booze as you brought it to your face. Of course that is probably because I'm drinking my alcohol nemesis... Rum. Yes, me & rum had a falling out back in grade 11 and we have never really been on good terms since. But being the whiny sport that I am, I bregrudingly downed the drink to only pick another one in the second round.

So yes, I'm drunk.

During some of our louder conversations, I got to recount the 24 hour relay and what fun it was to pull down pink spandex's pants & try and spank him... For those who have been following along you know what a sad demise that was & rather I got the spank that was heard around the beer garden.... If only life would insert post-it notes that said: Foreshadowing.

C-Hatch, Shaloa, Teddy & I were the last few still willing to slug out the evening down at Doolins and what we were about to see, I'm sure upsets some people for having missed. Yes, Shaloa and I were standing next to each other when a gentleman walked up next to us.... Shaloa looks at me... I looked at Shaloa & she says: It's him.. I say yes!

Yes, it was spandex man... except this time in Clothes. Unfortunately, that's where this story climaxes. That was pretty much it... He remembered me and ya, he started talking to a girl, his friend tried to chat me up (worst pick-up attempt. EVER!) and then we decided we wanted poutine (fries, cheese curds & gravy.. THE BEST DRUNK SNACK!!!!!). Apparently, he had never been turned down for poutine before... all I can say is.. REALLY? I doubt that. (K, I'm mean but he was pretty futile. I actually said to him... "why don't you actually try & see what I say"... he did.. I said, "Ya, I want poutine").

However.... one's mans attempt at a pick up did stick. Not on me but one of the brood did do the digit exchange... Yes, earlier in the day she had gone shopping and brought out the double guns that night (excuse the pun) but she was very motor boat worthy....

We're women. We have the breasts... We love them & we hate them at the same time. I mean we like feeling feminine but then when you play sports they get in the way. So anyways, the new clothes that she acquired we're of the low cut variety but put the girls on display in a very flattering light and yes, she was receiving a bit of attention (honey, you looked hot!) She commented at one point "Wow, it's kinda sad that it has to resort to this". True, I would love to think that our winning personalities would be what blows men over when we meet them in drinking establishments but .............. Ya, I live in the real world.

I supposed that sometimes you need to use a flashier lure in order to get a bigger fish. We all agree... why can't you just club men over the head like you do in fishing... would make it so much easier & you wouldn't wiggle around as much... ;)

I've also decided that having a Yard Sale is an acceptable excuse to drink on your front lawn.

and this just in...... the step monster was nice to me. I'm not sure what to do with that... I think the end of days is here.

You think you hate yourself..........

Seeing as English isn't so much of an orginal language but rather a germanic derivitive one could argue that no word in the english language is of it's origin with the exception of may be bootylicious. (Is now included in the Oxford Dictionary)

Even the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding pokes fun at this tid bit by stating that everything is of Greek Origin... So perhaps because the english language is a convaluted mixture of words and sayings, the rules that exist to help teach us to read & write in grade school are a mere rule of thumb as each word comes from a different time & place and therefore, there are many exceptions to these rules as stated in the previous blog entry....

So what we are essentially arguing here, is what is considered to be part of the english language & what isn't. What is considered to be the authority on the English Language. If a word is used in everyday speech, is it to be considered to be part of the english language? The word daisy for example is a derivitive from Latin and (k.. i can't remember how it was spelled correctly) was pronounced Deh-a-say... Now because it has shifted & taken an identity of it's own, it can be considered English... Which is why you argue words such as Lei are not English. However, when I string some flowers together into a necklace & wear it as such, I do not have any other word for that as I do not walk around saying... Hey look I just got "a flower necklace" no, I like to be the ass clown that I am & say Hey, look, I just got Lei'd as THAT is what it is, a lei...

I now believe I have eclipsed all entries as a waste of time w/ my argument about the english language & I must be stopped as I actually started yesterday's blog after hearing it on a radio commercial & thought I'd try & take it one step further by thinking of as many words as I could at 7:30 in the morning (which doesn't work)

Now Klingon... THERE'S A LANGUAGE.. can you believe I got a Klingon dictionary in my stocking one year.. WTF? I think my family hates me... Tomorrow's entry: My worst Christmas Gifts......

I think this proves I am a Geek

I before E except after C

Eight
Either
Neither
Feisty
Heir
Lei
Weird
Weir
Feign
Foreigner
Foreign
Feine
Feigns
Deign
Reign
Rein
Reindeer
Rhein
Rottweiler


I would also like to know what is up with the word Colonel???? WHERE IS THE R!?

Big Fish..... Little Pond

Let's say you're not me .... horrible thought as I'm so fun & entertaining... But let's say you're not me.... In fact you're REALLY not me... Perhaps you're married... may be even have kids.. Hell, let's say they're old enough to be in school. September is approaching and nothing is more nerve wracking then the first day of school (I mean for the kids... Mom's let go of your babies.. don't let them grow up to be cowboys .. sorry had to) So you escort your young'in to their first day & you walk into Kindergarden to find this......................

That's right you're child's teacher is none other then the co-host to the Mr Muscle/Bikini Contest!!!!! so awesome. Let me break this down for you a bit... This woman used to compete in this contest annually but then retired to help co-host every year.. AND BOY DOES SHE... yes, she has her swimsuits custom made each year & loves to keep with in a theme.. this year was blinding light as the sun shone off her many sequins but the silver was a nice offset to the gold paint she lathered across her body (you may or may not see that in the photo) I will be the first to admit that the picture of her "natural" hair (she claims) braided does acutally look good... In fact, these pictures did do her justice... It's just such a contrast to EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD.

The Mr. Muscle/Bikini contest takes place in a place near & dear to my heart: The Beach Beer Garden and the judges are comprised of local bar owners & what not.... Everyone is casual... everyone is whatever... She steps out & is BLING BLING... It just seems REALLY odd to me.

I would have other pictures from the weekend but as Stine pointed out to me "you'll get them when I f*ckn feel like posting them"... Ok..... I guess some of us have more work to do then others (I do but am able to proscrastinate better).

The beer garden was ok... I mean I generally like to go to places where I know a handful of people. The beer was eh.. (COORS LIGHT??????) and there were creepy men everywhere.

For example, I was walking around in my bikini top & jean skirt (it was hot) So needless to say, I'm showing some skin & for those who don't know I have a raspberry birthmark on my left side (Mark of the Devil, I should have been burned at birth! I guess I am evil after all) So I'm standing with Shaloa, hanging out when I feel something cold on my back & turn around thinking oh, is this someone I know........ NO.. Some creepy over 50 year old is rubbing a piece of ice to my back. I don't yelp (which I find odd) so I ask "What are you doing" to which he replies "What'd you do to your back..."

Now in person, whenever I simulate a conversation, I always make the other person sound like a creepy trucker which pretty much turns most men off. Except he REALLY did sound like that.

So I say "K.... please, stop that"

He shrugs his shoulders & plops the ice back into his beverage & takes a sip.... um. EW! I can't remember who said that he got to drink a little bit of Leanne Juice eh?

Hold on.

Yup, I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

Unfortunate for me, I kept seeing him & he'd ask me such things as "Why don't you take your hair down....." Thank God Shaloa stepped up her browsing skills & would divert us from such a confrontation again.

Deciding that this beer garden is plagued with drunk creepy men (one of the judges looked me up & down & asked why wasn't I in the contest as he would have voted for me) we took off not before hearing ONE more AC/DC song from the band which I think should be aptly titled: Mullets & Mayhem: We Know No Song After 1979.

This band is comprised of some older gents that probably have been doing this event every year.. and probably ONLY do this event. Bordering on being a tribute band for AC/DC they changed up the song play with a little Trooper only to be followed by a little CCR.
I have to admit... LOVED the drummer's pulled up white socks to his knee... H-O-T.

The live entertainment was only eclipsed by some dude walking around emulating "Girls Gone Wild" & filming two chicks getting it on in broad daylight. I would have thought more of it, but then thier "friend", a man in a sequin thong who loved to wag it, sat down with them & so I didn't want to watch anymore (k, that needs re-phrasing.. I wasn't watching the chicks get it on but you can't help but stare when one girl throws up her top & her friend indulges on a good breast feeding simulation. The sequin thong man was too much for everyone)

I thank Shaloa for indulging me on the visit to the garden. It was a good laugh... for her, the novelty of the thing wore off many moons ago.. BUT as mentioned many many many many times before, you can never go wrong with a beer garden on the beach. It's no fountain beer garden as witnessed at Wish Cup but what is??

The last time I went down a hill like that, I didn't have a very good Monday....

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Head or Ass???

I love my ultimate team. This is the second year I captained but my first for FFU. (Full Frontal Unity.... ) In case you don't know, Ultimate is a game that is played with a frisbee.. and yes it is a sport!!!! I wanna see you all run around as much as I did last night. (my check had wheels)

But my team is full of fun loveable people that unfortunately are very misguided... Well, unfortunate for them. Awesome for me.

Let me take you back to 2 weeks ago... shall I? Yes, we had just finished playing our second game when we got onto the topic of wasps... why? I don't know but what I do know is that Billy Bob & Pilly Boy get their Biology information from the cartoon network. You see they so strongly believed that Wasps had their stingers on their heads that they agreed to these audacious bets.

Billy Bob said if he was wrong he'd play the following week in a Chip'n'Dale outfit while Pilly Boy would do a table top dance.... needless to say, they lost.

I want to take a moment right here to point out that Pilly Boy is a PhD candidate in GeoPhysics...K, the boy has a brain.. Why you thought the stinger was on the head, I have yet to figure out.

Anyways, So last week, Billy Bob did show up to the game in his outfit and played our final season game black shorts, bow tie & cuffs.... very lovely.

Pilly Boy was a little harder to wrangle down. Even though he still believed the jury was out on our findings siting that because male wasps do not have stingers he didn't have to live up to his bet... we dragged him out to the Kingshead Pub in Kits. Yes, we needed a location that wouldn't look down on our behaviour. So after a couple of pints I get the brilliant idea that he could do his dance to "You Can Leave Your Hat On" as he is never a moment without his Pilsner Hat and is an unofficial rep for the company.

So after convincing the live guitar player to play that little ditty on the contingency that Pilly Boy hops up to the main floor...AND OH DID HE...

Yes, he stepped up..... Started to do the dance & whipped off his shirt & looked around.... Anyone want to donate some beer? anyone.. after a couple of people pour in his glass, he started doing a tour of the bar.. hey! why not.. may as well, make friends with the people you're about to horrify. When he came back to the middle & was basically standing there chatting.

So I say: Hey Pilly Boy... less talking & more dancing!

Famous last words.

I couldn't see as he had his back to me but Pete informed that you could see on the look on his face that he was thinking about it.

Should I?
Should I?
hmmmm .... Should I?

AND THEN all of the sudden just whips down his pants & bolts out of the bar..................

Although he did leave his hat on.

It was a good 5 minutes of him standing on the side of the patio waiting for his clothes as we were killing ourselves laughing. So when we came outside, we see him standing off to the side on Yew street holding his hat over his boys chatting with some ladies on the patio...

Yes, I believe he was making a bet about whether male bees have stingers on their ass...........

They'd be so happy to know I posted pics of them online....

Billy Bob posing out in his outfit (kinda glad he didn't go for the tight banana hammock)

Looking for some beer for his glass

On the way out... sorry for the blur.. we were laughing.

YARRRR!

I was watching TV last night (First night home in I have no idea how long & so was kinda nice to couch surf) Anyways... was watching TV & a commercial for Captain Morgan came on and like all alcohol commercials Beautiful people are dancing around having the time of their life... when I ask myself: Would I really want to drink a beverage that could base their entire advertising campaign around the word: Yarrrrrrr! ??

Of course, drinking tacky booze didn't really play a huge factor Sunday night when I asked for another can of Ole' Mil. Yes, I was drinking Old Milwaukee... Sooooo Awesome. Love a beer that has Pin Up Ladies painted on the side of the can. Course I had to finish the beer to see if she was two sided.. You know you see her sitting up right with clothes on vs being naked when the can was upside down. To my dismay, no, that wasn't the case.... But that'd be something eh?

OH YEA.... Shaloa & I hit P-Rock in style (Penticton for those who have no idea... 5 hours east of Vancouver). ***SORRY!!!! Stine came up with us as her parents live in Summerland and was there for the Saturday Festivities & the drive home****

Friday when we got into town we were pretty bagged and only had dinner & called it an evening. I was the first to bow out but not before getting peer pressured by her parents. They offered me any ounce of booze they had in the house. Right before they offered me some cough syrup, I headed off to bed to get a good night's sleep. Saturday comprised mostly of floating down the channel & drinking beer, sitting on a patio & drinking beer, BBQ and drinking beer, more patio and drinking wine (ahhhh... changed it up there!) and then the bar. Where I ran into someone I graduated high school with. Why is it when you see someone that you never spoke to back in the day they instantly become your best friend & start to divulge all of their old insecurities to you... I Don't Care...DUDE! High school was 4 years out of your life and that was eons ago... GET OVER IT! Actually his beef rested on stuff that happened to him in grade 5. I'm still shaking my head as I'm typing this.

Sunday was a different story though... That's when the real gong show began. Shaloa felt bad because she left so early the night before. She drank too much and did the "stare into the fire" routine. We asked her how Naam was but she was too busy reading bus transfers to notice. I shouldn't say "WE" asked her as Stine sat at table and was meowing ferociously at me and I suddenly realized that I was the most "in control" person there.... THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED! So needless to say, I REALLY needed to step up my game on Sunday.

Sunday consisted of a beer garden on the beach (So excited that this weekend could end up being a tax write off) and what started out as a low key evening turned into one random act after another. I am still awaiting pictures from the weekend and so until I get them, the Sunday adventure will have to wait..... But let me tell you one thing: If you're not willing to walk on the sidewalk there could be a cell waiting for you!

Who Throws a Shoe

I'm a bad blogger.. I'll be the first to admit... I'm going to partly attribute it to getting hit upside the head by a shoe on the weekend.

I was walking along main street in Penticton (actually, I was dancing.. an entry to come on that), minding my own business & BLAMMO! shoe across the temple.

A little stunned, a little startled, I look behind me & there is this drunk couple shuffling along & putting their shoe back on their foot.. So I say: you hit me in the head with a shoe!

The girlfriend pissed off that I mention it retorts back with "He didn't MEAN to hit you"

Oh, ok.. you're right... I don't hurt now.

90's Thursdays......

I decided that yesterday was 80's Wednesday. I got on a kick from the weekend. went & downloaded Corey Hart, Heart, Bangles etc..... Wasn't a Manic Monday but definately a Wacky Wednesday. Because we are officially half way through 2006, I feel that really we shouldn't be in denial anymore and accept that we're old and embrace... 90's Thursdays!

Part of the fun of reliving the 80's is that it was the frivolous decade of big hair and big clothes. Think teased hair & shoulder pads; flourescents & spandex. This extreme look was offset with the Preppie look of tweeds & pastels. However, not to be out done by the teased hair, Prepies had their permed hair, giant bangs & also wore shoulder pads.

But the 80's were all about fun! Dance music, Heavy Metal & the eternal LOVE ballad... Air Supply, Chicago & Foreigner... Love was something you fought for and was all consuming... So after spending the entire day to listening to this crap, I was in rather a bad mood. Everyone is pain. There's unrequitted love everywhere... and you start identifying with this.. "He doesn't love me either!" "I'm a good woman!" bla bla bla.... So I went out and got drunk....

So I decided to change decades in hopes of lifting my mood.

The 90's. Fashion calmed down a bit but not before exploring red jeans & hammer pants. Not to out done by the boppy dance numbers of the 80's, you have the BAD never ending techno Dance mixes that only have a 3 line chorus. Heavy Metal has been replaced with Grunge and the love ballads have gone bitter. We woke up. We got a social conscious. Did some reflection. We wanted to change the world & when that wasn't working for us we'd just pop some E & go dancing.

I don't really know if my mood is lifted as I just finished listening to a song about a boy that came to school & shot everyone. I can't really afford to do any E today as I really do need to get some work finished as I was too busy crying on bed last night.

So what are you? a child of the 70's (haven't even touched that) 80's or 90's or are you eternal?????

Love Ballad
80's: What about Love
90's: I Will Always Love You

Teen Angst
80's: We're not Gonna Take It
90's: Smells Like Teen Spirit

Dance
80's: Anything Michael Jackson
90's: REMIX REMIX REMIX

Rock
80's: Bruce Sprinsteen
90's: Anyone in a plaid shirt

It's hard for me to decide what I was as I graduated high school in 1993, so my taste pretty much bridges both decades.

Let me leave you with this to ponder: ... If you had to "Do", "Dump" or "Marry" Who'd you choose for each if your selection was: Rue Mclanahan, Betty White or Bea Arthur?????

My Typical Day....

*GET UP!*
May or may not have bells on as dependent on any drinking the night before....
• Shuffle to Computer & Check Email
• Delete garbage & answer anything important
• Bathroom (cuz you need to know this)
• Back to computer & answer any Dumb emails that aren't important
• Change, Listen to Ipod & Get in the mood to workout.
• If Mon/Tuesday: Run If Wednesday/Friday: Workout dnstrs
• Back to apt to shower, eat breakfast & catch up on Saved by the Bell. If the jr high days, switch to Regis & Kelly.
• More Emails, clean up any work at home
• Head to the Office but not before stopping at Starbucks
• Sign onto MSN
• Ask Jammer what name means
• Exchange creative insults with Nanz
• Once she's successfully offended, Begin Blog
• Stop to Rock out to an 80's song
• Talk to Special K
• Talk to Sow
• Finish Blog
• Begin Work
• Talk to Gaylord
• Back to Work
• Rock out to music
• Talk to Elaine
• Look at Work
• Email Ultimate Team
• Lunch!
• Check Emails
• Think about work
• Bathroom
• Actually start work
• Panic that work won't be finished
• Freak out
• Coffee
• Watch Link Elton Fwd.. generally gross & offensive
• Resume Work
• Exchange more insults with Nanz
• Send off work for approvals & changes
• Talk to Nic
• Talk to Gaylord (again)
• Check websites: friends blogs/ other email servers
• Get annoyed by changes needed by Client
• Tsk at noisy neighbors
• Begin changes & edits.
• Think about weekend & plan next road trip
• Realize that I need to be somewhere & panic again that work will not be finished.
• Freak out
• Bathroom
• Finish Work
• Realize everything else can be finished at home & leave not before chatting w/ S.
• Send out anymore emails may have forgotten: Friends/Family/
• HOME!
• Dinner & off to .......... Depends on evening.
• Home: begin work again... Realize am tired & vow to do it first thing in morning.
• 11pm late night TV! Daily Show, Colbert Report, David Letterman, Bad sitcom repeats (depends on mood)
• Bed


REPEAT

Weekend Away....

Yet another weekend has gone by where I didn't stay in town. My ultimate team mates & I decided last minute to forego the tournie in Salt Spring & instead drive up to Kamloops...

However, the weekend can be summed up as follows:

Sleep.... Eat.. Sun... Sun.. Sun.. Swim...Swim..... Sun..... *LUNCH ON PATIO*..... Sun... Sun.... Boccé Tournie... Swim....... Dinner........ *DRINK* ....................... not sure............. not sure.................BED.

Not only was it the longest drive of my life (about 2 hours longer then normal) But I got to find out all sorts of things not only about myself but my team mates.

1: I am a horrible Liar
2: I really don't actually know that many bad words (Can you think what's mean & starts with K?... KFed isn't a swear word according to them)
3: Jaws and Splashdown take on new meanings when used to describe body parts.... There's always a line up for the "Tube Ride"
4: The Truth can be manipulated... it's only there if both parties agree upon it.
5: I'm not a cold fish
6: Kirsten & Jay both have a lot of Game
7: You need to watch out for the quiet ones.
8: Don't eat yellow snow.
9: You need to be sure of your boundaries and to let others know what they are
and last but not least.....
10: Always check with the Safety Officer before performing any poolside stunts!