May be it shouldn't always be so easy...

You know that saying that you're not going to meet anyone just sitting there in front of the TV? Well, it's not true. It should be ammended and say: You're not going to meet anyone worthwhile while sitting there in front of the TV.

A couple of years ago, I shared a townhouse in the west end with a couple of girls. One night, my roomate's friend stopped by. His apartment flooded & was waiting for his cousin to come home so he could crash there & needed to hang out for a while. I thought he was kind of cute. A bit arogant but kinda cute. Being the friend he was, my roomate gave him an extra key for the week (our third roomate was out of town) and said stop by if need be. Because of his arrogance, I excused myself & went to bed.

A week passes & I had the townhouse to myself. SWEET. I thought I'd clean even though it's a friday night but my roomates were kind of pigs so I did it when I could. So there I am. Got on the plaid pjama pants on, tank top no bra, hair pulled back like a telly tubby doing laundry & scrubbing the kitchen floor when I hear a knock at the door. (it's around 11pm ) It's the friend, returning the key.

I quickly slip on my grey hoody as the white braless tank top isn't the image I'm trying to portray (neither is the plaid pjama bottoms but we gotta pick & choose our battles). I for some reason, blurt out: do you want some wine? and 1o minutes later, he's sitting on my couch. Half an hour later he's telling me that he's attracted to me (did i mention it's home made wine). Yep, I look down at myself & ask: what part?

So anyways, a luke warm affair began.

So many things should have tipped me off but when the alarms go off in my head I do what I always do and hit the snooze button & ignore it.

So his landlord has informed him that there is extensive damage & so he needed to find a place to live. Because he was in the coast guard & trying to get on a ship, he thought he'd wait it out a couple of weeks at his cousins place and see if he got on. He also said it was nice having this extra money at the beginning of the month. I can't really blame him there.

BUT then one night when he was staying over, he opted to go sleep out on his couch as the sound of my computer is how his ears sounded after shooting his gun all day (I probably should mention here he was in the army and fought in Bosnia). Ok.. so the snooze button is getting a little further away.

So he never got on a ship, and his stay at his cousins was starting to wear thin and he started to alternate doing nights at the guard and sleeping in his van.

Awesome, I'm now seeing a guy who sleeps in a van down by the river. The worst part is... I have yet to be freaked out.. WTF is wrong with me?

The final straw wasn't him hanging at our place, eating our food or when I ran my fingers through his hair and noticed it hadn't been washed as of late but rather he was going to leave for the night & took our empty water bottle but was frustrated because he couldn't find the lid. I ask why?

Seriously, Leanne, do yourself a favour and shut up sometimes.

You see, his van doesn't have a bathroom and sometimes he wakes in the night with the need to urinate and well, you don't want that spilling out do you?

Hold on.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
SO WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great that I learned that I'm not shallow but it's about this time that I thought I'd raise the bar an inch off the floor and in light of recent events, I thought I raise it up another inch.

The best Pick-up line EVER!!!!

I've posted the pick-up lines before but Friday night I was out at our Charity Bachelor/ette Auction where I went for a whopping $250 Thank-you.

Anyways, after the auction some guy is talking to me and tells me that:

"You're the kind of girl I would go for. You look like you could really take a good banging."

OK... WHAT!!??? Who says that???

But as per usual a comment like that doesn't really phaze me and I only kind of look at him questionably. (I'm starting to think there is a definate correlation between my lack of shock & the amount of Jager I've consumed.

He answers: "Oh, whatever princess". and the guy sitting next to me comments that I liked what I heard.

Seriously.. what am I putting out there?... Oh yes, I know. During the auction I stand on stage, turn around & smack my own ass. I bet the guys in the audience that I had dated were really missing me then.

ASSHOLE

enough said.

I just got a letter from a gentleman on Lava Life that is named Leandro.... I'm way too tempted to meet him just so I can introduce ourselves to people.

I'm starting to see where I went wrong.

Ever wonder why you've ended up the way you are? I credit my demise to two things. My older brother & the bad choices of my mother. These two things are what keep psychologists in business.

My brother is 7 years older then me which meant there was a lot of protection from him but also a lot of mind games. To this day I absolutely detest when I ask someone a question & they reply with "What do you think?" Hey! you know what? If I knew.. I WOULDN'T ASK! Also farting... what is the deal with sitting on my head?... You stink! I can smell it from here, thanks.

But I think the very first time I remember my brother messing with my head was the first time he baby-sat me. I was six & he was thirteen. We had just moved to our new house in Forest by the Bay which is a little subdivision between the cemetary & farmland in Tsawwassen (nice image I know but it's actually not that desolate). It was the friday of the first week that we were back to school and my parents were going out. Where wasn't important but rather what was important was that it was Mark's first time caring for me in the absence of my parents.

We both had pretty big weeks. I started Grade one, & Mark began Jr, high at TJS (which is no longer!) One of the classes he did take was Social Studies. Now this is back in 1981 so keep in mind that some things (not many) were quite different then. BUT one that stuck out very much was the immenent threat of Nuclear War as the Cold War was raging on.

Now, have you ever tried to explain that to a 6 yr old? For crying out loud, I still believed in Santa and here's my brother trying to entertain me by explaining the Balkan Wars, that Russia is evil & quite possibly tonight when I slept I could die.

The best part was, I just wasn't getting it. He told me that Russia could Bomb the U.S with a nuclear bomb & we'd all explode.

So here's me thinking that we would just be floating around in space becauase after all that's what happened on Looney Tunes (yes, that's my point of reference at this juncture).

However, he kept re-iterating... "No! You won't! You'll have nothing, no Dog (moses was still with us then), No Dad, No Mom... YOU'LL BE NOTHING."

Ya, thanks...
It's really too bad that I've always known what anxiety was.

It was shortly after that where we brought baby-sitters back into the mix and this is where I suppose my mother's choices come into play. Yes, good that my baby-sitter would play barbies with me for hours... Bad that the barbies were hookers...

NO.. Wait! They were reformed hookers that were trying to "clean-up" their lives & had jobs at BCtel and got to "share" ken. Yes, Barbie was a reformed Hooker with a new job at BCtel and had Hot Tub parties with her friends & one Ken...

I was 8.

So how about we give Leanne some things to do instead.. AH YES! the piano. I did love playing the piano... Kinda hated the practicing part but as I got older I appreciated this talent I acquired. So once a week, I was shipped off to some crazy lady that lived in the Village (think HUNDREDS of cats). It was here where I was able to learn how to shoot guns. Only revolvers. When that wasn't going on she explained to me how her dad still haunted the house & tucked her mother in each night. So after very little progress on my part (and the teacher skipping town), we switched teachers to an evil sow beast. It was because of her I learned to cry out of only the left eye as she sat to my right.

I was 10.

And then I met Kristin..... ha.. that was my choice I'm afraid so I can't be completely to blame. I did walk past the 7 houses looking for Manitoba plates to introduce myself to the new girl.

All of the preceeding information is correct, and not altered for this particular entry! I also love that the said babysitter now works for Bell.... hmmmm

You're about to Learn TOO MUCH!!

The following entry may teach you a little about myself. So in other words... guys BEWARE. They do hold some of my most embaressing moments but are trés funny so I feel I can share them. It is a bit more on the feminine side so again, guys you maaaay want to skip this one (ie. sticky, andy..)

What do you keep in your purse? Ever stow away a private item that thinking.. who's going to see this. Well, have you ever put it there and then spilled your contents a cute guy's shoes displaying all of your feminine products? or perhaps your birth control popped out.... WHAT ABOUT LUBE?

Now some of you may not carry such an item in your purse but I'm not most people. Now I'm not talking I'm carrying around a giant tube of lube waiting to be greased up. BUT I was given these little to-go samples where you can twist off the top & it's good for one use... I thought "super" and put them into the side pocket of my purse.

So this past Saturday, I head out to the Cloverdale Rodeo to get my HO-down and have to stand in a very scruitinzing security check. Each woman is patted down & her purse is searched. I've been in bar security before & they kinda just moved stuff around ... Nope not in the Burbs.. They pull out your Tylenol bottles & check through those contents. (What is the Bridge & Tunnel traffic doing anyways??)

So when we get to me, I have completely forgotten about the contents of my purse when the lady pulls out my little lube & is holding it in her hand for the world to see. YUP... great.

Quickly putting it back in my purse while I burst out laughing all she says was "We're both mature women... these are great!" Needless to say she finished looking through my stuff.

Awesome... what a way to bond with the security lady.

??????????

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

MY EYES!!! MY GOD, MY EYES!!!!

I also just found out this morning that the photographer in the office next to me, has shot the Hoff. It's all coming together.

The One Drink Marathon

I went out for one drink last night which apparently meant one drink from each person.

I just stopped typing to shake my head.... AH! did it again.

Dave just asked me from how many people. That I don't know but what I do know is that there was definately 1 tequila. I also know for certain there was 2 tequila BUT after that... I'm not sure. They just kept coming & were all sorts of colours and sizes. I swear I kept saying no... Running away didn't work as they just chased me across the room.

It's not that I feel crappy but rather I feel as dumb as a post and am beginning to see how my demise began.

You see, I play ultimate, which is fine and we went for a post-game drink & eats which is also fine... It's the #2.

I can have one drink & walk away but the MOMENT the first drop from the 2nd drink touches my lips, it's GAME OVER! Everything starts to become a GREAT IDEA. Ok I'm lying it really starts at #1 as I wouldn't have ordered the 2nd drink... However, it is after #2 that it seemed like a great idea to go meet Jay, Alisha & JP down at Gecko.... It's also about that time where I start to think I'm really funny. By think, I mean drunk and by funny, I mean yelling at strangers.

Yup, so several beers & who knows how many shooters later, I managed to find the safe haven of my bed & wake this morning to ply myself out of the covers & trudge into work. If there was a hangover olympics, I would be the undefeated champion.

We don't have the Y chromosome and yet Women are so Indecisive....

I like posting my conversations with certain people because we don't just take tangents to a new level but rather we discover a whole new plane. These kind of things can be done w/ Dave, Elton or Arlana but with Dave they usually occur int he middle of the day as neither of us are found of working. Elton just sends me f'cd up links & Arlana and I pretty much just insult eachother throughout the day.

This particular conversation started out with dave & I discussing our hockey pool & it went from there:


don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
i want everyone else to die

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
go buf

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
ha

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
yes, but that's cuz you're angry

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
it's not your fault that you look like a leprechaun again.

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
haha

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
We should have totally gone to the liquor store on granville & 70th before you shaved your head & begged for money










don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
i could get a wig

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
not the same. & it's done

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
make a wig out of my own hair

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
your donations are due this week

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
yes.

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
i would have given to "charity" and by charity I mean chuck norris

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
hahaha

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
what are you doing tonite?

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
ummmmmmm

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
i don't know yet

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
i will be in the general area however

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
ok... so there is potential to get you some cash

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
yes.. if I'm not at home, i'm in kits, if not kits, then south grannie

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
south gran??? you mean downtown sout

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
south

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
11th/birch

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
that's where reverse name lives

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
i c

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
do you???

http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.bold.gif
Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
do you seee!? wow..

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
yes

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
you can see.

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
is

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
ee

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
i

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
s

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
e

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
e

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
icy

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
icey

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
A-E-I-O-U....

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
icbc

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
and sometimes Y

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
icbc bends over

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
fucking Y... make up your god damned mind!!!!

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
yes.. that stupid Y.. note that women do not contain that chromosome.

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
and yet we're quite indecisive

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
ha

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
interesting

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
very

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
time to write a thesis

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
I think this:

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
that it's not that women are more indecisive but rather men care less... you see it's this way.. we want to know what or how it is.. men, much like Y are easy going & are fine either way

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
too far

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
no

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
haha

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
i stepped away for a sec

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
the battle pope disagrees however




don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
he says the y gene is made by the devil

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
and women are corrupt and evil

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
so everyone must die

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
i just re-read this conversation & it is indeed a little fucked

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
no doubt

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
um... i fail to concurr w/ the pope

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
he's crazy

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
I think Areala Warrier would be on my side.

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
she a blind follower of battle pope

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
the Y is made by the devil but women are not corrupt & evil

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
we are just a little.. how do you say.....................

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
certain about our points of view.

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
battle pope cares not

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
anyway...

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
battle pope looks like a fag

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
what is he from?

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
i have no idea

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
just a random picture/

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
?

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
but i found him on the internet

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
skippy

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
oh... i just looked it up

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
it's a comic book

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
ha

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
yes.. i thought it was a video game

don't piss off the battle pope and areala warrior nun says:
check out jesus' t-shirt




Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
nice.

Leanne-I like your sleeves says:
what would I do?

Florence

What happens when you get 2 girls, a grad dress & several cocktails in the mix?

Just some thoughts...

Is it bad that I went to the same Denny's twice w/in the same 24 hour period?


Do you know what your tradesment are doing?
I wonder what the guy standing on the roof of the apartment building next to the Cambie street bridge was thinking when he whipped his pants down to change.

As for my weekend...

It involved beer.
It didn't involve eating healthy.
It involved a fun costume party.
It didn't involve sleep.
It involved ripping my jeans across the bottom.
It didn't involve shopping.
It involved a killer kickboxing class.
It didn't involve stretching.
It involved me getting my own way with a stubborn bank teller.
It didn't involve me throwing a fit & losing my temper! (nice Leanne)
It involved moonshine.
It didn't involve an aspirin free morning.
It involved my grad dress.
It didn't involve me keeping it one piece.
It involved me unravelling who was the mystery overalls man.
It didn't involve me not passing out on the stairs.
It involved phone calls.
It didn't involve me maintaining any sort of pride. (come on Claire... say hi to Neal... )
It involved me saying "I like your sleeves" at any chance I got.
It didn't involve me getting the correct response.
It involved the bus
It didn't involve me sitting next to smelly-free people (pepperoni? or was it just salami?).
It involved me having our "first fight"
It didn't involve me winning.
It involved me inviting someone into my world.
It didn't involve awkwardness.
It involved paying tribute to someone that meant the world to me.
It didn't involve acknowlegding an evil sow-beast.
It involved laughter.
It didn't involve a lack of tears.

All in all was a great weekend but after writing that out, I now think "involve(d)" is a really weird word.

I went to Denny's for breakfast this morning (shut-up... it was good).

Ugly people have ugly kids...

The Double Standard

I've mentioned that dating is a game and it is. Girls are supposed to act one way & guys are supposed to be another. Essentially anything that a girl does that emasculates a guy is a no no. Guys like the hunt. They like the un-gettable. As soon as a girl that they're atracted to, turns them down, they turn up the heat.

NOW why is it when a girl goes for something that she wants it is "psycho"? Case in point. My friend we'll name all-star met her mexican boyfriend at Doolins. There was drinking, there was flirting... hell may be even the odd kiss exchanged once or twice. Everything is fun except that after she left the bar & woke up the next day she pretty much wasn't interested in him anymore. Unfortunately for her, the night before said otherwise & gave him her number.

LET THE PHONE CALLS BEGIN!

He called her every night & twice on sundays. He would tell her how beautiful she was & serenade her. Upon re-reading this sentence, yes, we could agree that this behaviour was odd BUT we shrugged it off as cute & the consomation incurred.

When the guy pursues, he is into her & it's endearing... he's trying to swoon us.. BUT if we call or show interest back, we're psycho.

What is the line?

Course the way that story played out... He ended up being REALLY BAD in bed. So no matter what he does, he won't win her back...We think he phones up & makes out on the phone.. or at least we're hoping that's what he's doing. *shudder*...

Note to the boys... that doesn't work.

I was going to go somewhere with this today but alas, I've run out of time and what can I say.. they can't all be gold.

To be con't....

ENOUGH!

So this is an article in the upcoming US Weekly magazine where Kfed unwittingly divulged that his spouse, Britney Spears, was preggers for the 2nd time.



The article is a big highlight of his on-air interview on Big Boy's Hip Hop Spot where Big Boy duped him into revealing that she was pregnant again which has spun a whirlwind PR stint of her doing on-air interviews.

Where do I start?

K-fed... too easy but let's give it a whirl. A highlighted segment of the article states that you are too lazy to work & that they would have to lock you down in order for you to finish your CD. UM? does this prove that really anyone can have a recording contract if they have enough money? Obviously paying for studio time doesn't phaze you because your sugar momma is footing the bill.
For all of those artists out there that struggle and work at their music, I feel for you. Just keep at it.. at least you aren't the laughing stock of EVERYONE.

I also find it really amusing that article is about how he was duped.

On April 28, while Spears was at home asleep in Malibu, Federline appeared on [Big Boy’s Hip Hop Spot] and wound up accidentally confirming the pregnancy the couple have yet to announce. He didn’t respond to a direct question, but when Big Boy asked,“What’s the biggest craving Britney Spears has while she’s pregnant - like from the last pregnancy - what is she craving now?” an unthinking Federline replied, “I don’t know. Pickles and ice cream.” Big Boy tells US, “I kind of threw him a curveball” by implying a second pregnancy. “He realized, ”Oh s--t!”

uhhh-ya. Hey Kevin, try showing up for the interview. It helps to listen to the questions. I'm sure Big Boy is a great on-air personality but am pretty sure he's not some ace investigative reporter.. Oh ya, he really got down to the bottom of that. What did we find out? that K-fed really is useless & shouldn't talk?

What is there to be confused about?... OH WAIT.. Yes, you just revealed that you like using both a pipe & rolling papers... AH Biggie did it again.. K-fed put the blunt down & listen & may be grade 4's won't out wit you any longer

IS THIS WHAT WE'VE COME TO??? hello!!!??? there is famine in Africa, there is war in Afghanistan & Iraq. Our taxes are being misappropriated. BUT BRITNEY IS PREGNANT.... AGAIN. Everyone.. front page news.

I think that the only time that trailor park trash should be in the news is when a tornado blows it away.

Britney, K-fed... you can sit down

The man who told too little...

Has anyone out there tried internet dating? I know you have because I've seen you on there. Seriously though, probably about half if not 3/4's of my friends have either been on lava life or POF. For those who still see the internet as having a stigma of weird desperate people that can't meet anyone in real life you're almost right. There are normal people on the internet. You could probably meet some fun types & develop good friendships. I actually know couples that have met, dated & gotten married by meeting online. I also know of plenty of desperate freak-shows that can only hope that they'll wake up one morning to a woman besides their mother.

So FINE, at one point several friends & I were online and it became quite comical. If we did meet someone, we would check amongst eachother to ensure that no one else has gone there yet. (Hello... I know it's the Internet but Vancouver is still freakin' small)

So I actually met someone online that appeared to be worthy of a date. Attractive, athletic, good job, and we got along seamlessly online. Our phone conversations were a bit disjointed but I pretty much hate speaking on the phone so I dismissed any red flag there.

So we set up a lunch date for Saturday. I met him down at Bridges' Patio in Granville Island as it was still early September and it was to be a nice afternoon.

The night before I had gone out with Nicole. If I recall, it was a typical night out.... Moose, Roxy, Doolins. At the Roxy, I had run into several old friends & seeing it was about a week after my birthday, there were plenty of shooters to go around. So by the time I had reached Doolins, the bartender took one look at me & put a pitcher of water down. I blinked twice at Nicole & decided that it was time that I shuffled my way home. She was O.K. with it as she found her favourite bartender from the Moose drowning his sorrows after having just lost his job that evening.

The next day, I awoke feeling not so fresh, & hurried myself downstairs to the gym to attempt a detoxifying workout. I figured smelling like booze on a first date was a no no. After which, I cleaned myself up, tried on several combinations & decided the Jeans, White T-shirt & Suede jacket combo was the best bet as it appeared casual yet slightly dressy while covering up any flaws that I was conscious of at the time.

I aqua bussed over to the island as I love being able to do that... I find it to be so kitschy. So I've got this sort of "Charloteness" frame of mind going on in my head... I actually hate when I get like that as I can be quite the suck.

I get off the bus near the marketplace, and not in front of bridges so as I neared the restaurant, I'm starting to get a slight knot in my stomach. I round the corner to head towards the hostess and I see a guy sitting on the log outside the restaurant in an arm sling. Yes, I had forgotten that he had hurt his shoulder not too long ago. That was fine. THE FUCKING UGLY BLACK SNEAKERS weren't. Nor was the fact that Mr. 5"9 was more like 5"7 and that he had posted pictures that "sort of" resembled him.

So we went inside.

We sat out on the patio as it was a nice day. I have already decided that I wasn't into him but figured that in the very least, he may be a cool guy to know which is all good until he opened his mouth. He was dumber then a piece of wood (Seriously, if you've lived your entire life in the lower mainland, wouldn't you know where the sunshine coast is?) And then it got better.

We had just sat down, handed our menus & were debating about what to order when he began telling a story. Right in the middle of the sentence he pulls this stutter/twitch/snort thing in the mid sentence... kept talking, AND DID IT AGAIN. (for anyone that has seen the Salton Sea, it kind of reminded me of the Dude that didn't have a nose from doing too much coke & would make a pig-snort kind of sound... ya, hot) So it took me aback. The first time made me look up from my menu. The second one made me blink rapidly (remember, this is the sure-fire sign of being shocked) When he started doing it on a consistent basis, I changed up my order of a white wine to a double jack on the rocks. Because of my immenent need to run away we ordered our food right then and there... I got a salad & excused myself.

I bee-lined it to the bathroom & phoned Nicole. She's hammered. Apparently after I Doolins, her & Jaime stayed up the entire night and decided that he should join her on her business trip to Vegas. He was off borrowing a suit when I phoned.

Nic: How's the date?
Me: What the fuck is wrong with him?
Nic: Why?
Me: He snorts when he talks
Nic:hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha
hahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahah
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahah

Me: thanks..... what should I do.
Nic: I dunno.. Good luck with that.. I'm getting on the plane. Talk to you later.

I begrudingly go back to the table as I believe that I'm having lunch with a former hard core coke-head. The snort-twitch is really un-nerving. So are his stories. I love the way he said he's a manager at an engineering firm. Ya, YOU PAINT STREET SIGNS... where's the science in that Bill Nye?

So I down a couple of drinks & our food comes. Right when when I'm about to stab my first piece of lettuce. Todd confesses something.

Todd: In case you're wondering, I have Tourrettes.
Me, not looking up from my salad: Oh ya? I didn't really notice (chomp chomp)
Todd: Yes, it comes out when I'm tired or nervous
Me: uh-huh... right.

Great.. thanks for the tip-off Todd. That may have been a bit more useful before I told the enchanting story of the man in my gym that morning that kept making un-controllable noises and I re-counted how I thought he was such a major freak.

So after doing the "I'm going to sit here until YOU pick up the bill" sit-off, We parted ways... He insisted on walking me back to the aqua bus. I gave him a quick pat on the back hug. You know the kind, ass out, chest forward, give a quick pat on your back because I don't actually want to touch you hug... yes.. that one.

I finally was able to climb on board & give a resounding shudder. The captain asks me if I was cold and all I could say was .... No, it's not that cold in hell.

I have Kristinitis

In case you haven't noticed, I haven't been posting... it's not from a lack of things to say as I have plenty of opinions but rather nothing toooo out of the ordinary.

But yes, I've basically been in a good mood. HOWEVER.. i was in a good mood in Europe so I suppose that doesn't hold much clout... So how about this for a re-cap: wake up, go to work, go home, repeat. That's last week in a nutshell.

However, today I'm quite moody.. why? you tell me... I feel like pulling someone over on the sidewalk & telling them why they should suck less. I'm just irritated by a lot of everything.

One thing that irritates me is Jessica Simpson and not just for the obvious stupidity she so flagrantly exhibits on any given day. It's more about Jessica Simpson as a brand because this aversion extends out to those that work & care for her as well.

I fail to see how a father that used to be a baptist minister condones the ass-shaking that be hers in a video for "These boots are made for walking". Jessica apparently was once upon a time a christian singer but so obviously gave that up for the lure of the riches & with that her father quit the church to be her manager.

NOW... I'm not too sure here so correct me if I'm wrong but wouldn't giving up serving god in order to make as much money as possible fall under "Though shall have no other gods before me" ?

Just a question.

I can say this because I'm a really good catholic... I always feel guilty after everything I do.

A girl who can do this shouldn't be single...

Rebuttle....

In my last post someone put a comment down "May be you should re-read, He's not that Into You" which really fired me up for a number of reasons.

However, before I go into my never ending rant of why I hate that book, I wanna clear up a couple of mis-conceptions. I could see how one may have thought that the introductory paragraph leads into the rest of the entry but it doesn't. My boyfriend snores.... and he snores loud. I realized I must like him if I didn't get up in the middle of the night & bolt like I did the first time I met him (see March 23 entry). Every time I kicked him, it was like I was turning up the power & he started to snore louder. So I moved to the couch.

Also my general rant was reflective on many issues & many people (myself included) as I hate the "B" word. So I was partly reflecting why I always have my back up.

NOW... "he's not that into you" K. I suppose the book does serve a purpose to all the women out there with no self esteem that stick to men that barely give them the time of day & they need to be shaken & told "You can do better!" I hate that book because it's giving all the power to the men. Why is it up to them to decide the fate of our relationship. Last time I checked it took 2 people. You know, if you don't like the way you're being treated.. DO SOMETHING. Take some fucking power back & be the women that he was attracted to in the first place. You know why he doesn't call you anymore? cuz you're boring. You lost your spine & now you're really annoying.

If you want to read a good book that's along those lines it's called "Why men love Bitches". It's not about being the psycho hose beast that lies in all of us but rather it's about remembering that yes, you are a person with your own life too. Never forget that. Too many women meet someone & start dating & then all of the sudden *poof* stop being themselves because they are trying to be this ideal of what they think he would like. Doesn't that just get a little tiring??? Why would you want to be with someone that doesn't like you for you? It's going to get old & you realize all of the sudden that you're not happy & then you start fighting etc... let him know what he's getting into and you know what? he maaaaaaay just like that. If he doesn't then the hell with him. Even though it doesn't feel like it sometimes... there are other men out there.

I hate "He's Not that Into You". We all deep down know this but are too afraid to admit it to ourselves. However, by hanging around as long as we do, we just hand over our power & self worth & that I find to be BS. I also hate that in every situation the book is being thrown in as sure-fire answer to every problem.

Here's a tip for everyone... If he was really going to do it (whatever that is call, make plans, commit etc...), he would have done it by now. The same can be said to men... Think about it when you like someone, you stop making excuses.