Hindsight is 20/20

Sometimes I wish I could spin around hard enough so I could bring hindsight to the forefront. That or actually listen to that inside voice that warns you off of bad decisions. I think mine must sound like my mother because I hate being told what to do and well, frankly, just never seem to listen to that inner dialogue. Mostly, I think it's because I don't have any and rather tend to speak out every thought I have at every time I have it. I attribute it partly to living alone... I talk to myself.

I generally veer away from the touchy feely posts or the ones that are reflective of any sort but events of the weekend have left me feeling justified and smug.... So I'm good! But I'm bringing it to the forum because just 6 months ago (I can't believe I've been writing in this thing that long), I wrote about my St Patrick's day adventures and disclosed that I met a guy and in the middle of the night (after not doing that... get your minds out of the gutters people) I ran out on him in my socks no less & booked it home to only have realized I left my earrings behind and began what would have been my most tumultuous relationship.

When we broke up, I was pretty heartbroken. I had developed some feelings for this guy & was led to believe that our dissolution was primarily my fault...... WELL, let me tell you how THAT went out the window this weekend. Yes, he's been sniffing around and no, I didn't totally Kibosh that idea... mostly because I will be the first to admit, attention is fun & well, I was milking this up but I had decided that enough was enough & wanted to come clean about me dating someone and that yes, I'm happy.

For some inane reason he took this as a challenge & insisted on seeing me & in fact sweetened the deal by offering me a ride to the wedding I was to attend... sure! I could use a ride so over there I went.... Let me tell you what GIANT train wreck he is. It's interesting to see them in a different light & actually hear the garbage that comes out of their mouths...

Not only did I catch him in a lie but really... looking at him makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little bit (and until last Thursday didn't know that phrase came from the movie Dodgeball.. yes, I'm ensconsing myself in Dodgeball).... I really wish that Saturday morning 6 months ago, I didn't ask for him to return the earrings but rather had just made a trip to the mall. It would have saved me time, heartache & emotional baggage.

However, if I wasn't so heartbroken & disenchanted, it may not have brought me to my present situation so does this phase in my life qualify as "everything happens for a reason"?... for now, I'll say yes.