May be it shouldn't always be so easy...

You know that saying that you're not going to meet anyone just sitting there in front of the TV? Well, it's not true. It should be ammended and say: You're not going to meet anyone worthwhile while sitting there in front of the TV.

A couple of years ago, I shared a townhouse in the west end with a couple of girls. One night, my roomate's friend stopped by. His apartment flooded & was waiting for his cousin to come home so he could crash there & needed to hang out for a while. I thought he was kind of cute. A bit arogant but kinda cute. Being the friend he was, my roomate gave him an extra key for the week (our third roomate was out of town) and said stop by if need be. Because of his arrogance, I excused myself & went to bed.

A week passes & I had the townhouse to myself. SWEET. I thought I'd clean even though it's a friday night but my roomates were kind of pigs so I did it when I could. So there I am. Got on the plaid pjama pants on, tank top no bra, hair pulled back like a telly tubby doing laundry & scrubbing the kitchen floor when I hear a knock at the door. (it's around 11pm ) It's the friend, returning the key.

I quickly slip on my grey hoody as the white braless tank top isn't the image I'm trying to portray (neither is the plaid pjama bottoms but we gotta pick & choose our battles). I for some reason, blurt out: do you want some wine? and 1o minutes later, he's sitting on my couch. Half an hour later he's telling me that he's attracted to me (did i mention it's home made wine). Yep, I look down at myself & ask: what part?

So anyways, a luke warm affair began.

So many things should have tipped me off but when the alarms go off in my head I do what I always do and hit the snooze button & ignore it.

So his landlord has informed him that there is extensive damage & so he needed to find a place to live. Because he was in the coast guard & trying to get on a ship, he thought he'd wait it out a couple of weeks at his cousins place and see if he got on. He also said it was nice having this extra money at the beginning of the month. I can't really blame him there.

BUT then one night when he was staying over, he opted to go sleep out on his couch as the sound of my computer is how his ears sounded after shooting his gun all day (I probably should mention here he was in the army and fought in Bosnia). Ok.. so the snooze button is getting a little further away.

So he never got on a ship, and his stay at his cousins was starting to wear thin and he started to alternate doing nights at the guard and sleeping in his van.

Awesome, I'm now seeing a guy who sleeps in a van down by the river. The worst part is... I have yet to be freaked out.. WTF is wrong with me?

The final straw wasn't him hanging at our place, eating our food or when I ran my fingers through his hair and noticed it hadn't been washed as of late but rather he was going to leave for the night & took our empty water bottle but was frustrated because he couldn't find the lid. I ask why?

Seriously, Leanne, do yourself a favour and shut up sometimes.

You see, his van doesn't have a bathroom and sometimes he wakes in the night with the need to urinate and well, you don't want that spilling out do you?

Hold on.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!
SO WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great that I learned that I'm not shallow but it's about this time that I thought I'd raise the bar an inch off the floor and in light of recent events, I thought I raise it up another inch.