I'm starting to see where I went wrong.

Ever wonder why you've ended up the way you are? I credit my demise to two things. My older brother & the bad choices of my mother. These two things are what keep psychologists in business.

My brother is 7 years older then me which meant there was a lot of protection from him but also a lot of mind games. To this day I absolutely detest when I ask someone a question & they reply with "What do you think?" Hey! you know what? If I knew.. I WOULDN'T ASK! Also farting... what is the deal with sitting on my head?... You stink! I can smell it from here, thanks.

But I think the very first time I remember my brother messing with my head was the first time he baby-sat me. I was six & he was thirteen. We had just moved to our new house in Forest by the Bay which is a little subdivision between the cemetary & farmland in Tsawwassen (nice image I know but it's actually not that desolate). It was the friday of the first week that we were back to school and my parents were going out. Where wasn't important but rather what was important was that it was Mark's first time caring for me in the absence of my parents.

We both had pretty big weeks. I started Grade one, & Mark began Jr, high at TJS (which is no longer!) One of the classes he did take was Social Studies. Now this is back in 1981 so keep in mind that some things (not many) were quite different then. BUT one that stuck out very much was the immenent threat of Nuclear War as the Cold War was raging on.

Now, have you ever tried to explain that to a 6 yr old? For crying out loud, I still believed in Santa and here's my brother trying to entertain me by explaining the Balkan Wars, that Russia is evil & quite possibly tonight when I slept I could die.

The best part was, I just wasn't getting it. He told me that Russia could Bomb the U.S with a nuclear bomb & we'd all explode.

So here's me thinking that we would just be floating around in space becauase after all that's what happened on Looney Tunes (yes, that's my point of reference at this juncture).

However, he kept re-iterating... "No! You won't! You'll have nothing, no Dog (moses was still with us then), No Dad, No Mom... YOU'LL BE NOTHING."

Ya, thanks...
It's really too bad that I've always known what anxiety was.

It was shortly after that where we brought baby-sitters back into the mix and this is where I suppose my mother's choices come into play. Yes, good that my baby-sitter would play barbies with me for hours... Bad that the barbies were hookers...

NO.. Wait! They were reformed hookers that were trying to "clean-up" their lives & had jobs at BCtel and got to "share" ken. Yes, Barbie was a reformed Hooker with a new job at BCtel and had Hot Tub parties with her friends & one Ken...

I was 8.

So how about we give Leanne some things to do instead.. AH YES! the piano. I did love playing the piano... Kinda hated the practicing part but as I got older I appreciated this talent I acquired. So once a week, I was shipped off to some crazy lady that lived in the Village (think HUNDREDS of cats). It was here where I was able to learn how to shoot guns. Only revolvers. When that wasn't going on she explained to me how her dad still haunted the house & tucked her mother in each night. So after very little progress on my part (and the teacher skipping town), we switched teachers to an evil sow beast. It was because of her I learned to cry out of only the left eye as she sat to my right.

I was 10.

And then I met Kristin..... ha.. that was my choice I'm afraid so I can't be completely to blame. I did walk past the 7 houses looking for Manitoba plates to introduce myself to the new girl.

All of the preceeding information is correct, and not altered for this particular entry! I also love that the said babysitter now works for Bell.... hmmmm