What's the point...

You know, I've been in a pretty upbeat mood as of lately. I've tried to put on a happy face about stuff & look on the bright side of things. I had a decent job, a good apartment that I don't have to move from and even a trip to Europe to look forward too.

Well, you know what everything is a state of mind. I've come to the conclusion that there is no point in being neither happy nor upset about things because either way people are going to come along & change your perception of things anyways.. And just when you're happy or secure someone wants to come along and shit all over it. For no reason except for the fact that they are are jealous of your happiness. As though there is a little bit to go around & we can't share with each other. I thought as adults we were supposed to grow up. Instead we revert back to acting as though we are five. My toy fell apart so I'm going to destroy yours as well.

I guess it comes down to owning your own feelings and emotions & not letting anyone else dictate your mood.. HA! that's easier said then done. I find that you can own your own feelings as long as you don't invest any of yours to others.. As soon as you care for someone or as soon as you like someone else you lend a little of yourself out & you trust that they will cherish you & appreciate your emotion & love. However, not enough of us do share & care back. Instead we treat others like a game to pump up our own insecurities or use for our own selfish needs.... You have to be so careful who it is that you let into your little world.. The problem in order to get to any of the good you have to filter to through the bad.... i just don't know if I could do it anymore.. I'm tired. I'm beat and have no more to give.... you win.

I'm sick of the lies.... leave me alone; you serve no purpose.